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Sunday, May 31, 2015

Google Wants To Be Your Everything

Google wants to be everywhere you — and your data — are.

Google

Ninety minutes into today’s Google I/O keynote, at the precise moment my right buttcheek began to notify me that it was about to fall into a most uncomfortable, tingling sleep, a Google executive booted up Spotify on her Android phone and started playing a Skrillex song from the stage. I rolled my eyes. Then, as the interminable pulsing beat wormed its way to the inevitable drop, the executive tapped the phone’s screen and posed a question to the device’s black mirror: What’s his real name? Without hesitation, the phone redirected to a familiar white Google page proudly displaying the answer — Sonny John Moore — along with a picture of the undercut-having, beat-dropping DJ looking angsty. The feature was part of Google’s Now on Tap mobile search, which reads the context of whatever app you have open and delivers answers to queries based on what you’re doing in the moment. The demo was simple, elegant, and enough to make me forget, at least for a moment, about my right buttcheek.

If you’re looking to understand what Google hopes to accomplish with its wildly popular Android operating system in the coming years, Now on Tap is a good place to start. It’s a sleek, impressive, and ambitious demonstration of machine learning that sits always at attention, ready to sift through the pile of data your smartphone is constantly producing in order to make your life easier. Now on Tap is the connective tissue between you and your apps and the internet at large — your very own search butler. And if it works as seamlessly on a street corner as it does from the comfy confines of a keynote stage, it’s also a triumph that suggests Google is poised to surpass Apple when it comes to mobile design.

Late Apple chief Steve Jobs rather famously noted that "design is not just what it looks like and feels like. Design is how it works." By that definition, the company Jobs founded has reason to be more than a little spooked by today’s Android keynote. Taken together, the rather small Android product features that Google announced — gesture-controlled smartwatches, context-based mobile search, facial-recognition-powered photo searching and storage, offline maps with turn-by-turn directions, and lightweight mobile processing for the internet’s "next billion" users in the developing world — come together as a comprehensive suite of technology that appears to be without peer. Whether it’s a $100 smartphone designed as gateway to the internet in a place with historically low smartphone penetration or a $500 high-end gadget squarely targeted toward early adopters, the vast and comprehensive mobile ecosystem revealed in today's keynote is deeply in control of your data and nearly always in your life. It also, for lack of a better word, works.

On Tap in action.

Google

And that’s really all that matters when we’re talking about Android or iOS or any of the digital networks that surround every facet of our lives, both on- and offline. At its most extreme, a good suite of mobile products will not only hold its user hostage but also help them cultivate a healthy case of Stockholm syndrome. To do this it has to work. It has to be able to look at your photos and recognize faces and the places those faces were in when the shutter clicked. It has to be able to remind you that you’re going to Chicago next month and Hey, why don’t you give your lovely Aunt Mildred a ring since you guys haven’t seen each other in a bit and — well, would you look at that! Looks like it’s time for you to get in the car if you’re going to make that appointment in Menlo Park by 2:00 P.M. Today, Google proved Android is a powerful captor.

Of course, there’s a price for all of this. The price is your data — and, by proxy, your privacy. Want to be able to find that picture of your second cousin you took six years ago? Let us look at and analyze the faces in every single one of your photos to figure it out. Want to know Skrillex’s full name? Let us see what's in your headphones right now. Need that reminder to call your college roommate? Let us know where you are now and where you’re going to be next week and yeah, we should probably have your address book handy, too. You haven’t booked the trip yet? Don’t worry, we’ve got your search history right here so we figured you’d be booking the trip soon.

Let us know everything about you. We promise it’ll be worth your while.

Google's mission statement.

Charlie Warzel / BuzzFeed

This information and privacy tradeoff is nothing new, but today’s keynote showed perhaps the fullest realization of the power of buying into an ecosystem whole hog. And in contrast to Apple’s beautifully designed — and, in many cases, prohibitively expensive — hardware, Google touted and demonstrated Android’s ability to provide an immersive digital ecosystem at staggering scale. Google’s feel-good portion of the keynote, which focused on bringing the mobile web to the developing world, was as much about indoctrinating the next billion inside the Google ecosystem as it was about delivering universal access to information. And with dirt-cheap and powerful Chromebooks and Android One smartphones, Google is arguably the only company even capable of this kind of market grab.

If Google is successful with all this, it will prove to be an unprecedented level of control for a company that arguably has more access to individual information than any entity on the planet. During the vanity stats portion of the keynote, Google exec Sundar Pichai revealed that six separate Google services (search, YouTube, Maps, Gmail, Android, and Chrome) all have roughly 1 billion users or more. Even third-party apps, arguably the only escape hatch out of Google’s walled garden of software and hardware, operate within and must defer to Android’s connective tissue features if they want to take advantage of things like On Tap. Google I/O is billed as a conference for developers, and today Google courted them and made them hoot and holler and clap at a number of features that promise to make their programs better, faster, and more efficient. But almost every single feature on display today was about Google’s play for more control.

Mat Honan / BuzzFeed

In this sense, the keynote, which prominently featured female executives and employees of color, was strangely Jobsian. Sure, it lacked sexiness — at one point a Google executive asked the crowd if there were any Star Wars fans in the crowd, and was met with a deafening chorus of woos and applause — but it was a prominent display of ambition, control, and design. Rather than simply build into the Internet of Things, Google built and unveiled an operating system for it. Why be the one to physically manufacture the smart locks that will secure your home of the future when Google can build the infrastructure that the locks run on? That’s control.

Skrillex demonstration aside, very little about today’s keynote was flashy, exciting, or engineered to echo through the culture. It was a series of rather incremental updates; perfectly subdued glimpses of a digital ecosystem that is becoming more fully realized. Set against Apple’s flash and aesthetic, it was almost boring. But it’s this insidious power that makes Google not only a transformative tech company but an almost elemental force of nature. Sure, it wasn’t all that pretty, but everything fit together seamlessly. And, most importantly, it worked.


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Poll: What Will Kim And Kanye Name Their Second Child?

Which direction will they choose?

In case you haven't heard, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are expecting their second child.

In case you haven't heard, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are expecting their second child.

Mike Coppola / Via Getty Images

So that means they're gonna have to come up with a name as genius as North West. Think they can do it?

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Have a better idea? Sound off below!

Have a better idea? Sound off below!

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Kanye And Kim Are Having A Second Baby And Everyone Made The Same Joke

Maybe we should call the baby South West?! Because their first baby is called North, get it?

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are expecting another baby, and Twitter was very quick to congratulate the celebrity couple with some sweet, authentic advice on names.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are expecting another baby, and Twitter was very quick to congratulate the celebrity couple with some sweet, authentic advice on names.

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Betsy Palmer, '"Friday The 13th" Slasher Star, Dies At 88

Palmer was first known for her appearances on early television, but gained more notoriety in the ’80s as the murderous Mrs. Voorhees of Friday The 13th.

Mark Lennihan / AP

Actor Betsy Palmer, a television pioneer who went on to play one of film's first slashers, has died at age 88.

Her longtime manager told the Associated Press on Sunday that Palmer had died of natural causes on Friday at a Connecticut hospice care center.

Palmer played Mrs. Voorhees, the camp cook and mother of Jason Voorhees, in 1980's Friday the 13th.

Palmer played Mrs. Voorhees, the camp cook and mother of Jason Voorhees, in 1980's Friday the 13th.

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She told reporters she never expected the film to become a cult classic; she had taken the role to pay for a new car.

"I'm the queen of the slashers," she said bemusedly in one 2005 interview.

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Kim Kardashian And Kanye West Are Expecting A Second Child

Baby number two is on the way!

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Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are expecting their second child together, E! Online reported.

Following Sunday's episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, a preview of an upcoming episode revealed that Kim Kardashian is expecting her second child. The information was told during a doctor's appointment.

"I just got the blood test back, and I am pregnant!" Kim says in the teaser to her sister Khloé.

Keeping Up With the Kardashians has chronicled the reality star's attempt to get pregnant for a second time.

The 34-year-old gave birth to her first child with Kanye, named North West, on June 15, 2013, in Los Angeles.

LINK: Kanye West Proposes To Kim Kardashian In San Francisco’s AT&T Park


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This Indian Actress Is (Rightfully) Furious At Hollywood Stereotypes

“Everybody doesn’t speak like Apu from The Simpsons. We all don’t smell of curry. We all are not ugly-looking nerds.”

Priyanka Chopra is no stranger to the west, having collaborated with Pitbull for her hit single "Exotic".

Priyanka Chopra is no stranger to the west, having collaborated with Pitbull for her hit single "Exotic".

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And she now has an upcoming lead role as FBI agent Alex Parrish in the ABC drama Quantico.

And she now has an upcoming lead role as FBI agent Alex Parrish in the ABC drama Quantico.

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Chopra told BuzzFeed India last year that the greatest burden of being an Indian performer for an American audience is "making sure we break the stereotypes that people see Indians as."

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Fashion At The 2015 Critics Choice Awards

Updating live!

Taraji P. Henson

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Carrie Brownstein

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Tracee Ellis Ross

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Gina Rodriguez

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The Rich Kids Of Beverly Hills Play A Game Of "Word Association"

Morgan, Dorothy, and EJ give us their candid opinion on everything from Britney Spears to flying in coach.

West Coast

West Coast

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Beverly Hills

Beverly Hills

Whitney Jefferson / BuzzFeed

Green juice

Green juice

Whitney Jefferson / BuzzFeed

Selfies

Selfies

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Apparently Alexander Skarsgård Is Dating Alexa Chung

Can we talk about genetic perfection?

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Jim Bob And Michelle Duggar Will Do A Sit-Down Interview With Fox News' Megyn Kelly

The 19 Kids And Counting stars are scheduled to break their silence Wednesday night with an exclusive interview with Fox News.

Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar

Brendan Hoffman / Getty Images

It's been more than a week since the emergence of a 2006 police report alleging Josh Duggar, eldest son of 19 Kids And Counting's Duggar family, sexually abused several underage girls, including two of his sisters.

Since In Touch's publication of the report, the now-27-year-old father of two has admitted to behaving "inexcusably." He has resigned his position as executive director of FRC Action, a nonprofit lobby run by the Family Research Council; his family's television show has lost many of its advertisers; several of the politically active family's previous supporters have spoken out about the allegations; and TLC has pulled the reality series from its current schedule.

But his parents, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar, have remained relatively silent on the subject except to post a message of support on Facebook, saying Josh made "some very bad mistakes." Their language was criticized by other victims of sibling sexual abuse as minimizing the trauma that victims experience.

The couple will break their silence this week when they sit down with Fox News' Megyn Kelly at their Arkansas home for an interview that will air at 9 p.m. ET on Wednesday, the usual time slot of Kelly's talk show, The Kelly File. Additional excerpts from the interview will air during a one-hour special on Friday June 5 at 9 p.m. ET, also on Fox News Channel.

LINK: TLC Has Pulled “19 Kids And Counting” From Its Schedule Amid Sex Abuse Allegations

LINK: Josh Duggar Apologizes Amid Sex Abuse Reports, Quits Family Research Council


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How The Rock Became A 21st Century Movie Star

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and Carla Gugino in San Andreas

Jasin Boland / Warner Bros.

With an estimated domestic box office debut of $53.2 million, San Andreas is Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's best ever opening weekend as the solo star of a film. But what does that even mean in 2015? Does San Andreas' box office success finally make Johnson a bona fide A-list movie star? Does it demonstrate instead that he is merely the actor with the best business savvy working in Hollywood today? Or is there, perhaps, no difference between the two anymore?

The definition of a movie star is, at best, difficult to pin down. It can mean an actor who regularly brings in massive box office on their name alone, like Tom Hanks, Julia Roberts, and Will Smith used to do until they didn't anymore, or like Scarlett Johansson, Melissa McCarthy, and Kevin Hart have done over the past few years. It can mean an actor who is so strongly identified with a blockbuster franchise that one's success is inexorably linked to the other's, like Robert Downey Jr. with the Iron Man and Avengers movies, Jennifer Lawrence with the Hunger Games films, and Kristen Stewart with the Twilight films. Or it can mean an actor whose charismatic persona, stunning beauty, and Oscar credibility transcend the need for consistent blockbuster box office, like George Clooney, Brad Pitt, and Reese Witherspoon.

Johnson does not quite fall into any of those categories. His charisma and physical beauty are undeniable, but without any awards season attention, he hasn't yet reached Hollywood's most rarefied inner circle. (You only need to look at Mark Wahlberg and Jonah Hill's elevated stature in Hollywood after their respective Oscar nominations to understand how important it can be to an actor's career.)

As a solo star, meanwhile, only Johnson's family films have been hits, and modest ones at best — his most successful film to date, 2007's The Game Plan, pulled in $90.6 million domestically. Otherwise, movies built on Johnson's star power alone — low-budget crime thrillers like 2010's Faster and 2013's Snitch — haven't even reached $50 million in North America, and barely make any money overseas. The visual effects–driven fantasy adventure film Hercules, Johnson's big star vehicle for the summer of 2014, got creamed when it opened opposite Johansson's Lucy; the film ultimately eked out just $72.7 million in North America.

Johnson in Furious 7

Scott Garfield / Universal Pictures

Instead, Johnson has had the most success joining franchises that were already modestly successful, and each time, his presence appeared to boost that franchise's global box office. 2013's G.I. Joe: Retaliation earned roughly $75 million more worldwide than 2009's G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. 2012's Journey 2: The Mysterious Island made nearly $100 more worldwide than its 2008 predecessor. And 2011's Fast Five nearly doubled the global box office of 2009's Fast and Furious a trajectory that has barely slowed with the subsequent Fast and Furious movies. Furious 7 is now the fourth highest grossing film worldwide of all time.

These franchises, however, aren't defined in audiences' minds by Johnson's presence — he's added value, but he isn't the main event. San Andreas' marketing campaign similarly emphasized the film's destructive spectacle over Johnson's appeal as a movie star. You could arguably have substituted another bulked-up actor in the role — like Chris Hemsworth, Charlie Hunnam, or, yes, Mark Wahlberg — and the film's box office result likely would have been the same.

But the movie didn't star those actors; it starred Johnson. And in a Hollywood marketplace dominated by franchises and visual effects, and that has less and less need for specific actors to be a film’s main box office draw, Johnson has carved out a unique place for himself as a kind of 21st century movie star. With 49 million likes on Facebook, 8.7 million followers on Twitter, and a massive physique that is its own special effect, Johnson has created an unmistakable persona as an irrepressibly likable guy’s guy. Like the muscle-bound stars of the 1980s, he literally cannot disappear into a role, but unlike Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone, Johnson is also content to let the destruction of California overshadow his star power. It’s a strategy that has increasingly paid off, especially overseas, where even Hercules earned an impressive $170 million. So while Johnson may not quite fulfill the traditional definition of a movie star, he is certainly redefining it for himself.

Gugino and Johnson in San Andreas

Jasin Boland / Warner Bros.

Here are the estimated top 10 box office figures for Friday to Sunday, courtesy of Box Office Mojo:

1. San Andreas* — $53.2 million
2. Pitch Perfect 2 — $14.4 million
3. Tomorrowland — $13.8 million
4. Mad Max: Fury Road — $13.6 million
5. Avengers: Age of Ultron — $10.9 million
6. Aloha* — $10 million
7. Poltergeist — $7.8 million
8. Far from the Madding Crowd — $1.4 million
9. Hot Pursuit — $1.37 million
10. Home — $1.2 million

*Opening weekend


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27 Adorable Sandals For Sizes 11 And Up

It’s beach season.

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Jaden Smith Totally Rocked A Dress To Prom With Amandla Stenberg From "The Hunger Games"

He’s basically a prom superstar.

So you might've heard that Jaden Smith wore a Batman suit to prom.

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You know, 'cause high school and stuff.

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But because he's Jaden Smith, he had not one but TWO proms to go to this year. This time, he was Amandla Stenberg's date and they looked pretty ~high fashion~.

You might remember Amandla from The Hunger Games as Rue. If you don't know her, you should because she's pretty much the coolest.

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Amandla even 'grammed a darling photo of Jaden smelling his boutonnière.

Ah, the smell of youth.

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Saturday, May 30, 2015

Here's Everything We Learned At Google I/O

Google I/O, the biggest Google conference of the year, kicked off Thursday morning with a keynote address from Senior Vice President of Products Sundar Pichai. Past I/O conferences have included updates to the mobile Android OS, Cardboard — Google’s stab at virtual reality — wearables, and more. Here’s a running list of what we’ve learned so far today:


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How A Popular Musical Is Embracing The Deaf Community

Deaf West’s production of Spring Awakening casts deaf and hearing actors in a fully accessible and even more emotionally resonant version of the hit show.

Daniel Durant and the cast of Deaf West's Spring Awakening.

Kevin Parry

When Spring Awakening debuted in 2006, it stunned theatergoers with its staggeringly true-to-life portrayal of adolescence and sexual discovery. The rock musical, adapted by book writer and lyricist Steven Sater and composer Duncan Sheik from Frank Wedekind's controversial 1891 play, focuses largely on the unanswered questions that plague young people — and their parents' refusal to even address them.

In Deaf West's production of Spring Awakening, currently running at the Wallis Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts in Beverly Hills, the theme of fraught communication is clearer than ever before. The cast is a mix of deaf and hearing actors, and the dialogue and songs have all been translated into American Sign Language. Some characters communicate via signing easily back and forth, while others struggle to understand one another.

"The show itself is about communication," DJ Kurs, the artistic director of Deaf West, told BuzzFeed News through an ASL interpreter. "It's also about the division between children and their parents, and deaf people — many are born to hearing parents, so we have parents who speak a different language and don't understand our culture. That is what you will see in Spring Awakening: the relationships between children and their parents, and how the kids have to navigate through the world on their own, and that itself is a very common experience in the deaf world."

In previous Deaf West productions, the shows have been deaf accessible but have not incorporated the actors' deafness into the story. For Spring Awakening, the characters played by deaf actors have been reconceived by director Michael Arden as deaf roles. "We want to choose a meaningful show and shows that in and of themselves add value and become better by adding sign language instead of just doing the same thing in sign language," Kurs said.

Sandra Mae Frank as Wendla and Austin McKenzie as Melchior in Spring Awakening.

Kevin Parry

And Deaf West's Spring Awakening is just that. The production premiered last fall at the 99-seat Rosenthal Theater in downtown Los Angeles. Now that it's at the Wallis, the show has been expanded for a larger audience. Some of the cast has stayed with the production, like deaf actors Daniel Durant (as Moritz, who feels anxiety over his burgeoning sexuality) and Sandra Mae Frank (as Wendla, who naively enters a sexual relationship she doesn't understand).

Both actors mentioned how difficult it is to find work as deaf performers: Deaf characters are few and far between and on top of that, they are often played by hearing actors. When it comes to hearing roles, deaf actors are rarely considered.

"It's tough," Durant said via an interpreter. "There are millions of people looking for acting roles and a lot of deaf people, and there just aren't that many roles out there. Often there will be roles thought of as being for hearing actors, but I'll audition anyway and give people an opportunity to think, Maybe this will work for a deaf person. But it's not an easy life."

If a casting director does choose to take that chance on a deaf actor, they open the door for a unique experience. "Deaf people present more layers, more layers of conflict, especially if there's a communication breakdown," Frank said, also via an interpreter. "Not to be bigheaded or anything, [but] I feel like I have so much to give to this role."

The characters' deafness plays out in the interactions they have with the hearing characters in Spring Awakening, many of whom are slow or outright resistant to communicating with ASL. "We've translated Wendla's mother's dialogue really specifically so that you understand that she is a hearing woman that has learned to sign late in life to be able to communicate with her daughter," Andy Mientus, a hearing actor in the production, explained. "It's a little bit condescending, it's a little crude, it's a little like English as sign instead of full ASL. They're really rudimentary signs."

It hits close to home for Kurs, who is too often seeing hearing actors play deaf characters. "[ASL] is our first language. If you put a hearing person and you teach them sign language — you could teach them for five years straight and they're still not going to be equivalent to a deaf actor signing in their own native language," he said. "And when you have a deaf actor, it looks really natural and very, very rich, and it brings all the different layers to the role."


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Taylor Swift Totally Recreated The "Bad Blood" Music Video While Walking With Her Gal Pals

~oopsies~.

Have you seen Taylor Swift's music video for "Bad Blood"?

Have you seen Taylor Swift's music video for "Bad Blood"?

You probably should because it is awesome.

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So lemme ask you a question: Does this photo remind you of anything?

So lemme ask you a question: Does this photo remind you of anything?

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You sure? Just Gigi Hadid and Martha Hunt walking next to Tay?

You sure? Just Gigi Hadid and Martha Hunt walking next to Tay?

FAMEFLYNET

Here, let the popstar help you connect the dots.

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Oh My God Johnny Depp's Daughter Is So Gorgeous

And probs cooler than all of us.

So you probably know that Johnny Depp and Amber Heard are ~married~.

So you probably know that Johnny Depp and Amber Heard are ~married~.

Good lookin' couple right there.

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But before Amber, there was Vanessa. Vanessa Paradis, that is.

But before Amber, there was Vanessa. Vanessa Paradis, that is.

They dated from 1998 to 2012.

Martin Bureau / Via Getty Images

Johnny and Vanessa had two kids: Lily-Rose and John III (but he goes by Jack).

Johnny and Vanessa had two kids: Lily-Rose and John III (but he goes by Jack).

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17 Celebrity Instagrams You Need To See This Week

Mostly the one of The Rock in China.

The Rock went to China.

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Miley and her kitty cuddled.

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A Cruel Intentions reunion happened.

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Drake showed off his bod.

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Friday, May 29, 2015

19 Valuable Life Lessons Kathryn Merteuil From "Cruel Intentions" Taught Us

Everyone should strive to be the Marcia fucking Brady of the Upper East Side.

It's perfectly OK to be picky:

It's perfectly OK to be picky:

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Never be afraid to ask for something that you want:

Never be afraid to ask for something that you want:

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Always have a plan:

Always have a plan:

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It's important to strive to have a strong bond with your siblings, even if they're your stepsibling:

It's important to strive to have a strong bond with your siblings, even if they're your stepsibling:

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The Three Coolest New Things From Google’s Experimental Lab

Touchscreens in midair, touchscreens on clothes, and a build-a-phone.

Advanced Technologies & Projects, a division within Google, is a lab that traditionally works on really cool, futuristic projects. Today's presentation was a look at what the company is developing.

It didn't disappoint.

First up: Sensors.

First up: Sensors.

Brendan Klinkenberg / BuzzFeed

The product of Google's Project Soli, they detect movement from a hand that's above the watch, and can interpret incredibly detailed gestures.

Basically, Google is creating an alternative to the touchscreen.

Basically, Google is creating an alternative to the touchscreen.

Brendan Klinkenberg / BuzzFeed


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People Are Swarming This Amazon Listing For Silver Spray With Hilarious "Mad Max" Jokes

What a lovely spray!

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24 GIFs For Every Possible Facebook Moment

Now that Facebook just started allowing GIFs, you’ll need the right one to use at the right time.

When someone announces their engagement:

When someone announces their engagement:

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When your ex comments on your status:

When your ex comments on your status:

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"San Andreas" And The Difficulty Of Finding Pleasure In Disaster Porn

Los Angeles in ruins in San Andreas.

Warner Bros.

Hollywood has been in the mass disaster business since at least the Irwin Allen movies of the 1970s, and the genre’s fixation on capturing massive devastation has even earned it the nickname “disaster porn.” But San Andreas, directed by Brad Peyton (Journey 2: The Mysterious Island), represents a new benchmark in destructive realism. It purports to depict what would happen to Los Angeles and San Francisco if the titular California fault line cracked the state asunder in the biggest earthquakes in recorded history. Below BuzzFeed Senior Film Reporter Adam B. Vary, who lives in L.A., and BuzzFeed Film Critic Alison Willmore, who grew up in the Bay Area, talk about why the film’s approach to this event left them feeling more disturbed than entertained.

L.A. during an earthquake in San Andreas.

Warner Bros. / Via youtube.com

Adam B. Vary: Setting aside for the moment that it’s likely impossible for the San Andreas fault line to create earthquakes of quite that magnitude, Peyton treats these seismic events straightforwardly, tasking his visual effects teams with rendering them with shuddering, rubble-strewn verisimilitude. He wants us to think, This is how this could — how it will — really happen.

Alison, as a 13-year resident of L.A. — basically my entire adult life — I’ve lived with the quiet but persistent knowledge that The Big One could hit my home at any time. And I found watching my home get pummeled during that very event as a form of popcorn-y summer entertainment to be a deeply unpleasant experience. It’s as if The Impossible, about the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami, had opened in May with a splashy red carpet premiere and starred a sprawling cast that included Channing Tatum and a cameo by Rihanna. But I can be overly sensitive about such things. So I’m wondering, as someone who grew up in California, if you think I’m getting worked up over nothing?

San Francisco in ruins in San Andreas.

Warner Bros.

Alison Willmore: I did grow up in the Bay Area, which has been pummeled on-screen recently — San Francisco is in ruins in Dawn of the Planet of the Apes and gets trampled by kaiju in Godzilla. But that’s nothing compared to what happens in San Andreas, in which San Francisco is leveled by massive earthquakes, then catches on fire, then is hit by a giant tsunami. Los Angeles takes it on the chin as well, but man, does this movie have it out for San Francisco. I was in elementary school when the 1989 Loma Prieta earthquake took place, and it definitely evokes some of the footage that looped on TV back then — especially the freeway and bridge collapses. That said, for me, this movie didn’t take much time escalating from realistic depiction of a disaster to giant, numbing CGI spectacle, so any actual quake-related fears I’ve had, most of them revolving around getting smooshed by the crumbling of whatever building I was in, faded into the background very quickly.

As you said, Adam, Hollywood has a long history of disaster movies, but what irked me about San Andreas — beyond the way it managed to make even my beloved Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson dull — is the lousy balance it maintained between its mass destruction and its relatable characters. You mentioned The Impossible, a movie that, for all its impressive filmmaking and acting, also inadvertently suggested that audiences needed a set of white characters in order to care about a Thai disaster. And I felt like San Andreas turned that into a grander screenwriting problem — in attempting to inject some smaller drama into widescale wreckage, it ends up making it feel like California was devastated and millions of people were killed in order to get the Rock’s family back together.

Alexandra Daddario in San Andreas.

Jasin Boland / Warner Bros.

ABV: That disconnect is what was so disquieting to me, I think. L.A. has also certainly had its share of cinematic calamity. In 2012, the city literally cracked apart in a fantastical doomsday event; the aliens of Independence Day seemed to relish their plan to lay waste to the city (as well as to New York and Washington, D.C.); and I don’t think anyone will forget that fateful day in 2013 when a shark tornado took a bite out of Santa Monica. In all of those movies, the disasters were so outlandish — and the acting and dialogue often so enjoyably terrible — that you would be missing the point entirely if you tried to place yourself inside them. These movies are meant as engines for escapism, not empathy.

But San Andreas wants to deliver its pulpy fun with scenarios that feel genuinely plausible, like getting trapped in a car in an underground parking structure or impaled by falling glass or, yes, caught in a tsunami. The good-bad elements from other disaster movies were in ready supply — including Kylie Minogue’s blink-and-you’ll-miss-her-falling-out-of-a-building cameo — but I derived no pleasure from them. The actors played their scenes so straight, and, you’re right, the Rock’s family drama was so bland, that California’s devastation became the only thing worth paying attention to. So I just kept thinking, Yeah, something like this might actually happen to me. And when things finally did get over the top, like the Rock dodging a giant container ship as it crests over the lip of that aforementioned tsunami, it just felt that much more callous and hollow to me.

Like I said, I’m sensitive. But I’m also trying to figure out which is more frustrating: being jolted out of a silly disaster movie because the disaster feels too real, or numbly enjoying a disaster movie’s bloodless PG-13 death and expensive CG rubble because it feels too implausible to be real?

Paul Giamatti and Archie Panjabi in San Andreas.

Jasin Boland / Warner Bros.

AW: It does feel to me like every other big movie ends with a city getting destroyed these days. San Andreas is a bit of a throwback in that this now happens more often in superhero battles than by way of natural disasters, but there’s a point where it all looks like the same big pile of wreckage that was artfully created on a computer somewhere. Honestly, I'm more bothered by the callousness to spectacle this has created in me than the potential exploitation of real resonance in a spectacle meant for entertainment. I remember feeling a jolt of unease the first time I saw Cloverfield and its early scenes evoking 9/11, but I think it ultimately made the movie stronger — the monster in Godzilla, after all, began as an embodiment of Japan’s fears of nuclear weapons after World War II, so why wouldn’t this creature terrorizing New York recall the terrorist attack that forever changed the city?

But the bloodlessness in San Andreas is fascinating. The movie kills off millions of people in California alone. The earth buckles, skyscrapers crumble, the ocean comes pouring into the streets. But for all the death, it’s dramatically free of dead bodies, something that really comes through in a later sequence in which characters navigate a boat across floodwaters that should be just cluttered with corpses. Instead, San Francisco looks dramatically empty, as if everyone had been neatly Left Behind–style raptured right before the wave hit, freeing the movie up to focus on its Alexandra Daddario rescue efforts. (Paul Giamatti’s professor character does issue a warning, but the fuzzy timeline doesn’t suggest nearly enough time to evacuate an entire city.) It actually made me think of Avengers: Age of Ultron, which, unlike some other recent comic book–inspired flicks, went out of its way in its own city-smashing sequence to show civilians being rescued and ushered out of danger. San Andreas doesn’t spare these people, but it does make their remains disappear. But what do you think of these halfway measures, Adam? Does the abstraction of body count in big-screen destruction like this make it more disturbing or less?

A digital tsunami bears down on San Francisco in San Andreas.

Warner Bros. / Via youtube.com

ABV: Oh, more disturbing, so much more disturbing. I mean, there’s even a disturbing thoughtlessness to this movie’s outwardly heartwarming story of a family reuniting — the Rock’s character rescues people for a living, and yet he doesn’t think twice about flying, in a rescue helicopter, over thousands of people desperately needing rescue, so he can maybe rescue his daughter in San Francisco.

You know, I think you’ve helped clarify for me why San Andreas put me into such a foul mood. It wasn’t just that it reminded me that I’m basically doomed; it was that it reminded me how fucked up it is that we treat mass death as a form of frivolous entertainment. Todd VanDerWerff at Vox recently wrote about how superhero movies over the last 15 years or so have increasingly been post-9/11 allegories. But, like you noted with Cloverfield, disaster porn movies like 2012, last year’s Godzilla remake, and San Andreas also qualify as a kind of twisted variation on the events of that day. But after surviving San Andreas, I’m not sure I will be able to find much pleasure anymore in such merciless catastrophe.


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