“I united the hallows.”
If you cast the Muffliato charm, nobody else can hear you getting down.
You want this wizard sex to be a private affair. An alternative is the Caterwauling charm, but that's far less subtle.
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You don't need to worry about dodgy erections, just Wingardium Leviosa your crotch and you've got more rock than Hogwarts castle.
Ron has some trouble with this spell, but fortunately he’s got Hermione to help him out these days.
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If you're a size queen or not quite confident with the dick you have, you can whisper "Engorgio" to make a bigger wave in that ocean.
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A witch or wizard blessed with A1 oral skills is known to give the Dementor's Kiss.
Basically it means they suck so good it leaves you drained and kind of soulless for a minute.
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